Well, it's 3 days into my new outlook on this job search thing, and I've applied to more jobs this week than in the past month. True, many of these jobs are things that I'm not entirely qualified for, and I'm probably just annoying the poor HR person who has to sort through the CVs, but tough. That's their job. They should be grateful. And you never know.

I've also started applying for jobs a bit further from home than I would actually like to commute meaning if I were to get one of these jobs I'd have to consider 1) if I should take it or not, 2) if I could really handle the commute or 3) if Ian would kill me if I told him we needed to move, again, away from the perfect little town he loves so much. But, we'll jump off that bridge when we come to it.

All in all, I'm feeling better. I'm not feeling guilty that I'm not trying, because good god I'm trying. (Seriously, 3 days and I've applied for 20 jobs. That's a lot of cover letters people.) And yes, I did get a twinge when I received a rejection email at 8:30 in the morning when I had only applied for the job at 7:00 the night before and the description was basically exactly what I did at my last job, but then I talked to Ian about the location and the job description and he told me who he thinks the company is and what they do, and I'm pretty sure that I was rejected for being an American and thus unable to get the security clearance needed for the work. So...not much I can do there.

I will say that I wish job adverts here would just tell you who the company was so you could avoid situations like that. But so much is done by agencies, at least with engineering jobs, and the fear is that if they tell you who the job is with you might go and apply with the company directly and then they'd miss out on their commission. Of course, the up side of that is that the agencies actively search for your CV and contact you about jobs they think might work for you in an effort to get that commission.

The downside of that is that the agencies can't read, and I keep getting contacted about jobs that would be perfect for me as long as I'm willing to relocate. Even though my CV says I'm looking for a job because I just relocated. And I'm pretty sure one of the agencies was trying to get me to take a job at the company I worked for before I moved here. Another agency asked me if I knew anyone at that old company who might be willing to relocate for this great job they had. I'd ask, but I'm pretty sure my old boss would come up here and kill me if I convinced another of his employees to leave!

And also I got a lovely email from Karen telling me I'm not a failure, and reminding me that when she was unemployed I used to ask her how the job search was going all the time. I figure, she didn't kill me, so I suppose I should show the same forbearance to my friends and family today. It also made me want to move right back to Texas so I could see her all the time again, but that would just add a whole new list of problems.

So, better. Not perfect yet, but definitely better. And I'll take better any day.