Dear Karen,

Look, lady. I know I'm a fuel efficient car, but seriously. You have to get gas at some point. I cannot run forever on fumes. I mean you would think I could since I’m one of the amazing new coupes. However, truth is I can’t. This is why I have an idiot light on the dash. It's to remind you to put fill my tank.

Gas is kind of a required thing like returning a library book or showing up to the movies on time. If you do it wrong even once, you will face the consequences. I'm kind of the same way. I know you're excited that you're not filling up that behemoth of an SUV every three days, but I too run on gas. Remember? You did not get my hippy hybrid cousin. You picked me. I run on gas. If you don’t give me gas, I’m going to hold your afternoon or morning or weekend hostage.

So, take this as a warning, girly. Get your happy ass to a gas station today. Forget it. I'll take you this afternoon. God. I have to do everything myself.

Love,
Vic