There was a time in my life that I longed to be a film critic. I would LOVE to be paid while I watch and talk about movies. LOVE it. And I've studied movies in college, so I'm an educated movie know-it-all. I think that is what annoys Jeff when I suggest movies. He just wants to watch the latest popcorn movie full of poop and fart jokes. I want to see something amazing. He wants to be entertained. I want to be entertained and amazed, shocked, angered, tearful, elated, touched. I want to feel something while I experience a good plot.

That's a long way from poop and fart jokes.

Probably my favorite genre of film is the kid's movie. I'm drawn to anything animated. I love things tied to "young adult fiction." I enjoy coming of age stories and stories based on high school kids. I also really like science fiction and fantasy. I need robots, wizards, magic, talking animals and whimsy. All the time. I like the chance that whatever is happening in the movie can never ever happen in real life. (Harry Potter, Frodo, Batman, Wolverine, Luke Skywalker, Mike Wazowski - I'm looking at you guys.)

I think that is part of the reason I pick the movies I do. This weekend I saw two flicks in the theater and one off of Netflix. I saw WALL-E, Wanted and Jumper. I was 3 for 3. Each of these movies was good in its own way.

WALL-E - The latest Pixar flick does not fail to deliver. Wall-E was incredibly charismatic even if he didn't speak much. This film probably has the fewest number of spoken words in the entire Pixar catalog. Before the film came out, people compared this to Short Circuit. Well, let me just say that Johnny 5 ain't got nothing on Wall-E. While the movie was a bit heavy on The Message that Disney is often famous for, it was still entertaining enough to overlook the obvious "go green or we're all gonna die" theme. Here is a great review of the film.

Wanted - I like movies where Angelina Jolie is an assassin. What can I say. Sometimes the shoot-em-up movies are enough of a pop-corn movie that I am drawn to the theater. I love the fact that you can train to be an assassin. There were some days while I was unemployed that I thought about that as a career. An assassin not Angelina Jolie. Mostly because I don't think that position is open at this point. But of course, how do you pursue a career in licensed assassin? Also, who is on this licensing board? Is it like a driving test? Do you have to go on a Job with an instructor to make sure you follow all the protocols and successfully whack your mark? So since there isn't exactly a career builder site for assassins, it was hard to pursue that as a career. Oh right the movie. I have invited James McAvoy to sit in my Hott Tub. And the movie was good too.

Jumper - Oh hooray. The cheese ball movie of the spring has finally made it to DVD. In this movie they feature a kid who can teleport. You know that question, "If you could have any super power what would it be?" Mine would be teleporation. That way I could travel the world without having to endure those long ass flights. I had my doubts about this movie because I broke up with Hayden Christensen after Life as a House. Did you see that awful movie? God. What happened to Kevin Kline? Seriously. So, fortunately the movie makers did not advertise that Hayden was in this movie. It was LONG after the movie was in and out of the theaters that I heard rumors that he was in the film much less that he was starring in the film. But even he didn't screw this up too bad. He didn't whine any which was nice (as he was prone to do as Darth).

So, there are your bite-sized reviews for this Monday. Richard Roper, Leonard Maltin - if you're reading this. I would love to help you out. I'm sure you're overwhelmed with all the good, bad and awful movies you have to watch and review. I would be more than happy to help out. I can start immediately. Besides The Dark Knight comes out in three weeks. I'm ready!